Friday, June 09, 2006

Fleeing the country!?

As you can tell i have not written for a long time. And lots has happened. Lover boy moved into his new place(3 min walk from mine!) and i helped him move in. I find myself here everyday. And my dad decided to flee to the phillipines to marry a woman he has been conversing for not even a year. Now i have nothing against people meeting someone they have texted to for more than a yr over the net, but flying across the country to marry a woman u have texted for not even 6 mths??? CRAZY. Dont get me wrong. I love my dad. We always would go shopping together and i loved it. It was our bonding moment. And altought i have chatted with InternetChick(dads wife as of today.....)over the net and she IS really nice and i AM kinda excited to meet her and all...there is an unsettling feeling not only in my mind or my stomach. But in my heart as well. For I fear that the same thing will happen with my dad as it has with my mom. They get married and badda boom badda bing the kids are....invisible. There will be no more daddy/daughter dates. It will now be Daddy/internetchick/daughter dates. Fun? some of the time sure. But not all the time! He's MY dad. I knew him first! In a way i guess you could say Im jealous. Who wouldnt? But i also fear that he will not treat her the way she deserves. Im scared that the same thing will happen with dad that has happened more than once......Dad gets married, SAYS hes in love with her, have a few kids, starts to get abusive yada yada, wife leaves dad and then this time dad will be SO depressed hes going to kill himself. Now what if dad kills himself? I will be sad. Sadder than sad. I will be depressed. Sure it may not faze me as much because i dont see him everyday as it is(when he was here anyway...)but i WILL miss hugging him and his church speeches he seems to offer 24/7 and shopping! In a way he is my shopping buddy, as odd as that is....But he is my dad. and I love him.

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