Sunday, May 14, 2006

Man Lovin on a Sunday Afternoon

Picture this: You're engaged(congrats!!) and you love your fiance so much that you dont have any doubts that he is the man(or woman) for you to spend the rest of your life with. You know with all your heart that he/she loves you the same way.
The female always seems to be the one who mostly gives the backrubs or the feet massage or the holdin your man close to you to feel his body against yours, but for some reason you dont mind at all because just knowing that your man loves you with all his heart by the way he looks at you or cooks for you is enough.
Now picture this: You are both laying in bed together for a nice nap(above the covers and in your clothes!!). You dont feel like cuddling up to him anymore at the moment because its just not....comofrtable. So you turn your back to him and now the both of your backs are facing each other. You dont feel as connected as before but you feel happy knowing that you can always just turn away in bed and still feel his love. When all of a sudden a few moments later after your nap you feel him turn around and snuggle into YOU. He wraps his arms around your body and buries his face into your hair smelling it enjoying how it smells so good from the previous wash it endurded with your faboluus smelling shampoo and conditioner. You smile to yourself. As soon as he wrapped his arms you, you felt this overwhelming feeling of love and hope and future with this person. Its so strong it takes your breath away for even a second leaving you with a feeling of profound happiness and joy. Isnt that what love should be like everyday, everywhere with every couple in the world? Profound happyness and joy? As sad as it is, its not. But I felt it. Today. While napping with my man on a sunday afternoon.

Monday, May 08, 2006

The Beauty Inside

What exactly is the beauty of an engagment ring? It's not the diamonds, its not the gold, its not the way it shines and shimmers in the summer sunshine, altough to some people thats all that matters. To me, when I look at my engagment ring I see love. I feel love. I feel more love in my heart and all over my body that I thought was possible. How is it that someone can love a person so much as to work for them to buy them a beautiful ring and then proceed to go on bended knee and ask "will you marry me?".
Saturday night, May 6 2006, Lover boy made me a wonderful meal. We went for a walk afterwards and then proceeded back to his house. We danced to a few songs then down he went, on knee asking me if i would marry him. After my previous 2 mishaps of thinking he was going to propose you can imagine how happy i was. I was bursting and i couldnt stop smiling. Its always been obvious to me how much lover boy loves me but right at that moment seeing him go on one knee opening the ring case with the ring inside and tears in his eyes everything became so clear to me as to how much he loves me. And that makes me love him even more. He is everything to me. I live for him and there is no doubt in my mind that i want to marry this man and spend the rest of my life and eternity with him.

Thursday, May 04, 2006

Crazy thing called Love

Back track to a few days ago; My step dad is washing the pans while everyone is putting there plates in the dishwasher while everyone is talking about love and getting it confused with infactuation also known as a crush. My step dad had said "Love was made for two" as a burn to someone in particular who once thought that she was in love with someone who probably could have cared less about her. I started thinking to myself, " is made for 2. And i love lover boy"( i didnt really think lover boy, i thought of his name but u get the picture...)And I thought of how scared I was to get into a serious relationship because although everyone says that you dont know what love is like until you actually are in love i wanted to know what it was before i got into anything.
Fast Foward to last night; I was on lover boys computer downloading music and chatting. I was in a particularily good mood because I had just cleaned lover boys kitchen and made his bed for him and folded some laundry to cheer him up. I was jibber-jabbering to myself about who knows what when I got onto the topic of love and how much I love lover boy. I then found myself singing "love was made for two, so whatcha gonna do" when i stopped myself in thought.....I had heard that somewhere but i didnt know where. Then it hit me as i was thinkin of my step dad saying it in the kitchen. "Holy Crap" i thought "thats from a song i wrote about 4 months ago!" I then started to peice everything together....Step dad sayin love is made for two, me agreeing to it right away knowing i love lover boy and knowing he loves me, my song i wrote, and my fear about not knowing what love was when BAM; it hit me again. I always knew what love was. I just didn't experience it at that time so there was no way to identify the feeling. "This is crazy" I was thinkin. "That whole time i was scared to get into a serious relationship all because i thought i didnt know what love was when i knew what it was along.....UNbelievable"
But now there is no guessing, no walking on my toes. I know i am in love. And i know Lover boy loves me. You can't really put words to this feeling I find because its such a strong emtotion. Saying "I love you" always works but for me the words dont seem strong enough. I always feel like I more than love him but saying 'I love you"is the only way how i know how to actually tell him verbally how much I love him which is why i always say it to him and do nice things for him, such as his dishes or rubbing his back. What can I say.....its all part of a crazy thing called love.